time : 8.00am-wake up and wash up
8.30am-soap the clothes
8.45am-bath b.boy
9.45am-wash clothes
10.00am-hang clothes
10.30am-clean room
11.30am-bath
12.30pm-rest
2.00pm-go find Michelle
5.00pm-go home
6.00pm-play with didi wong
7.00pm-dinner
8.00pm-continue play
9.00pm-read god's word
9.30pm-put didi to sleep
10.30pm-watch drama
12.00am-sleepzzZ
what a busy day....lalala....can't wait for tomorrow...
Katherine Stuart must finish all the things you should do only can go...
if not the same thing is going to happen again...
okokok....
wanna know who is Michelle???
she very sweet, nice, funny, scary and pretty...
hehehe...we use to be enemy last time over a guy...funny right???
I was told by someone that she betray me...and she was also told from someone that my best friends betray her...but it was all the someone doing...she tell me this but tell her that...so we hate each other....last time...I use to hating her so deep till me myself also don't know how to let it go...even when I don't like the guy anymore but I still hate her...because she were my good friend in church and i love her so much...I hate her because I thought she was fake...even when she leave Malaysia and go to S.L i still can't let it go...slowly I became a really bad person, I hate and angry at people very easily...I hate my aunt, my friends, my mom, my aunt, my uncle, so on....
But as Michelle came back to Malaysia...I was asking god what are you trying to do???
My best friends has change church and she is back??? and became my cell leader...what???
Life was not easy that time as I am facing so many difficulties...study fee, family (mother-mental break down), sister (pmr this year, and mixing with the wrong friends in school), brother (can't find him at all don't know how is he doing, and have no one to discuss how and what to do), make big decision of life (which causes so many people hate me and call me shui lui)...and then when all this is not solve yet...here she come again...
It make me feel like not going to church at all...I hate god and don't understand why can't he just show himself to me when I needed him the most...I can't stop crying day and night...I cry in college...in home...in car...etc....
But now...I have learn...I learn to let go...I use to ask myself how can I let go....I can't don't care my mom...I can't let michelle or people who hurt and bully me hurt me again...if I don't check on my sister, she will become a bad girl...how??? how to let go???
And i heard a word from god...he told me to focus only him...I was like you bring Michelle away then I will focus only you....
The other day...my aunt Kathy she show me an example...she say I cannot be holding and see all my problems so big...then she show me an example...she ask me to look at the pen, and only the pen...things around the pen are all slowly become blur...she told me: god is asking me to focus on him (pen) and see the problems around me blur not by big or small...and solve it one by one...
As time past...I learn to see problems as blur and see things in many different view...I learn that people are not perfect...Jesus has die on the cross for you and me...he is not even a sinner and he is a god but yet...he choose to sacrifice himself to save us(sinner)...so I learn to let go and make a first step...
I choose to forgive everyone that has hurt me...because I love them...I can love a stranger why can't I love my friends??? If god can do it...so do I...
So me and Michelle start going out...and during college...she will come all the way to the one academy to find me...at first I taught she was in Monash but I was so touch when I found out that she was in Taylor and yet she is willing to walk all the way to the one just to find me for lunch in a really hot and sunny time which is 12.00pm...
And recently...I found out that...she was not the one who has betray me...it was someone else gossiping...and this someone is from church-a leader...but I told myself who never make a mistake before...I should not busy body...I should let it go...
Now my sister is the one who call me every Saturday and ask me to fetch her to church...My mom is better now...and friends around me are changing...and I realise my life was not that bad after all...I have so many best friends that would stand up for me when I am bully by others and pull me when I fall...I have aunt Melina, Uncle Jason, Didi Wong(Daniel), Diana, Mommy Wong, aunt jenny, Michelle, Mei ling, su ching, yee von, mum, kate, kris, june, cae me, jessica, aunty helan, mandy jie jie, aunt soo lan, pik jin....and so on...
see how wonderful god is...if he were to just take away all my problems like that...I would not be who I am now...Life is so meaningful...we laugh, we cry, we angry, we emo....it will be so meaningless if we just laugh in the whole life...
I love myself...because I know how to think now...
and I know there is nothing to be afraid of for all things are possible with god...
he has show me how thoughtful and loving he is...he was the one who teach me, mold me, and strengthen me...
HATE: CAN PULL YOU DOWN AND DRAG YOU AWAY FROM GOD....I don't want a second of my life is without god in me...I love him...That is why I choose to let go...to be more like him...I wanna draw people around me to him...I wanna shine like a star to the people around me...show love to the people around me...so that they will come to god....that is why I Katherine Stuart call myself a christian...
by the way this is Michell...
F***ing long story~ lazy to read le..
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